An Open Letter to Zach Wamp


Dear Representative Wamp,

You've lived at the now infamous C Street house for a long time now. And we in Tennessee have noticed that a lot of the folks who live there get up to the kinds of shenanigans that then end up being very embarrassing for their home states: John Ensign, Mark Sanford, and now Chip Pickering.

Clearly, when we heard you were living on C Street and thought "Oh, good, Zach Wamp is living with some nice Christian men" we should have been thinking "Oh, god, Zach Wamp has moved into an unsupervised frat house."

Now, these things happen. Maybe "No Pants Saturday" got a little out of hand and the next thing you know, everyone's cheating on his wife. Maybe you just happened to get three bad apples in your very small bushel. Hard saying.

What I am saying, though, is, on behalf of the State of Tennessee, who does not want to end up being mocked on The Colbert Report again any time soon, if you have done anything to violate ANY of the Ten Commandments, please 'fess up to it now, to us.

Don't make us find out in the national media that you've been coveting your neighbor's ass.

Sincerely Worried,


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