Spurgeon's General Warning: Banned Names



Wait, guys, I got it...
  • "Wait, guys, I got it ..."
Sunday night was a celebration of The Beatles' appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show a scant half-century ago. It got me to thinking: The Beatles are such a part of our pop-culture consciousness that we kind of ignore the fact that "The Beatles" is a terrible, terrible band name. It's a joke! A bad one! A PUN. And, except for The Simpsons (The Be Sharps) and That Thing You Do! (The Oneders), very little attention has been drawn to this painful truth. But really, names of that ilk were just a part of a '50s and '60s trend of being the absolute worst with names:

The O'Kaysions, "Girl Watcher"

What's this, a merry band if Irishman? No, it's the "The Occasions," spelled annoyingly, singing about being street harrassers. Everyone in the this band belongs in jail.

The Surfaris, "Wipe Out"

I almost want to give surf music a pass, because it was never trying to be anything other than good-time grooves for the kids at the shore. And yet I can't, because I feel like "The Surfaris" were inordinately proud of that name. Like they all told their moms as soon as they came up with it, and were praised for their cleverness even though their moms knew it sounded dumb. Being a mom is hard.

Gary US Bonds, "Quarter to Three"

At least he's patriotic?

What are others? I'm sure there are others. Far, far too many others.

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