by Jim Ridley
Like George Clooney awash in The Perfect Storm, the website Everything Is Terrible! dogpaddles for dear life at the intersection of Abandoned VHS Garbage and Broadcast TV Sewage, battling 10-story waves of discarded junk media: tasteless PSAs, wretched “entertainers,” public-access atrocities, instructional videos no humane boss would inflict. What, you ask, could make this cesspool any deeper? One magic word: Christmas!
After packing The Belcourt on its first local visit several months ago, EIT! returns to Hillsboro Village 9:30 p.m. tonight with a seasonal compendium of gut-wrenching, side-splitting torment — starting with a surly Santa who looks like Dolemite’s shifty cousin flanked by fleshy “elves.” And that’s just on screen! Live before your spinning eyes, the EIW! crew promises “puppets, sing-a-longs, candy, fake snow, and a visit from the big man himself!”
Needless to say, leave the kids at home unless you want to find them one day carving jerky out of Rudolph. Admission $10.