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Fan Fair attendees packed Adelphia Coliseum this past weekend hoping to interact with their favorite country stars. The lines were longest at the following attractions:

♦ Sawyer Brown’s Mark Miller Gets All Sweaty and Flexes for Half an Hour

♦ Keith Urban Seductively Whispers Your Name in That Crazy Australian Accent

♦ Emergency Tank Top Sunburn Response Unit

♦ Faith Hill and Deana Carter Makeout Booth

♦ Vocal Sweetening and Audio Enhancement Seminar

♦ Have Your Picture Taken With Dwight Yoakam’s Pants

♦ Tracy Lawrence Shooting Gallery

♦ Try on Garth Brooks’ Headset

♦ Confederate Flag Folding Clinic

♦ Montgomery Gentry Processes Your Tennessee Driver’s License Application Regardless of Proper Documentation

Not everything about this year’s event was a success, however. Here are Fan Fair’s least popular attractions:

♦ RuPaul’s Country Extravaganza

♦ Wanda and Her Hidden Kazoo

♦ HeDAISY

♦ Al Berman, Periodontist to Music Row

♦ Dr. Nick Franklin Discusses His Bootleg Dale Earnhart Autopsy Photos

♦ Shania Twain and Le Petomane Perform Their Duets

♦ Johnny Paycheck Release Party for His New Single “Take This Autograph Request and Shove It”

♦ Señor Banjo

♦ LeAnn Rimes

♦ Hillbilli-Vanilli

—By Jonathan Harwell Jr.

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