Tracy Moore's Guide to Racist Southerners on Jezebel



  • Courtesy of Jezebel
Over at Jezebel, former Scene staffer Tracy Moore jumped into the Paul Deen fray last weekend with "A Complete Guide to All the Kinds of Racist Southerners." It's an entertaining read, and she's definitely hit a nerve — at last count, there were 677 replies.

Here's just a taste, to whet your appetite:

Dumb White Supremacists

Angry violent white dudes, usually young, usually uneducated by what you might consider the approved curriculum, but well read in racist literature. Obsessed with guns, the old KKK, neo-Nazism, militias, training for the chance for a Civil War do-over. It's fringe, but it's there. Usually out in the sticks holed up at some weird training compound that you are terrified to ever drive past. Mouth-breathers.

Dumb, Openly Racist

They use the n word freely, make disparaging remarks about any and all minorities who are seen as the usual clichéd threats to jobs, a purer America, general decency. Sometimes doesn't even know the correct racial slur to use, but combines a bunch to cover all the bases. Usually likes hip-hop.

The Good Ol' Boy

Nice as hell. Polite. Gentlemanly. Racist.

The Political Racist

This can either refer to the Tea Party racist — here's a funny breakdown of the five types of racists found within the Tea Partiers — but it's basically a rightwing neo-con. The South has a long tradition of fiery Southern liberals, but that's in opposition to the sea of red. Found bottom-dwelling there is this breed of fratty mouth breather who is a small-minded, racist conservative fearmonger who blames all the country's ills on minorities and immigrants.

Should he or she get elected to office, they immediately try to preserve or reinstate the Old Ways by twisting racist logic into modern, common sense, pro-American values. When I lived in Nashville that person was Eric Crafton, an overgrown toddler whose claim to racist fame was introducing an English-only bill that sought to limit all government business communication to English, in a city where 1 in 10 residents are foreign-born. (Luckily, the measure was crushed in a huge show of solidarity by the city, proof of the ever-present tension in the South between the old and the new.) Note: Loves pleated khakis.

Read the whole piece here.

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