You know when you're playing euchre and one of your opponents leads the hand with the right bower? You know that's to flush out whatever other trump cards people have. The smart play is to throw the lowest trump card. And, sure, sometimes, your lowest trump card is the left bower — the second highest card in the deck. If you have to throw it, you have to throw it.
But if you've played euchre long enough, you know there's always some doofus who will throw that left bower and then sit back in his or her chair, triumphantly. And then you all have to sit there uncomfortably waiting for him or her to remember that hearts is trump this hand, not diamonds, and so that jack of diamonds can't take the jack of hearts.
Sadly, it turns out that Tennessee Congressman Stephen Fincher is our doofus. In the great euchre game of politics, he threw the left bower when the right bower was already on the table and he doesn't seem to realize it.
During contentious debate over the Farm Bill, which funds food stamps, in the House Agriculture Committee, Rep. Juan Vargas, D-Calif., invoked the Book of Matthew as he noted his opposition to the cuts.
“[Jesus] says how you treat the least among us, the least of our brothers, that’s how you treat him,” Vargas, adding that Jesus specifically mentions the importance of feeding the hungry.
Republican Congressman Stephen Fincher of Tennessee, who supports cuts to the program, had his own Bible verse from the Book of Thessalonians to quote back to Vargas: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat,” he said.
See how it went. Vargas led with Jesus, America's ultimate Right Bower. Local doofus, Stephen Fincher, followed with Paul. But Paul can't trump Jesus. The red words in the Bible are always more important than the black words, and what Jesus says always takes precedence over whatever dumb opinion Paul has about something. That's why they call it Christianity and not Paulianity — what Jesus says, goes.
But Stephen Fincher isn't just making Sunday School teachers weep with his gross misunderstanding of just who's in charge of Christianity. He's also opposed to giving people money from the government while he ...
... I don't even have to tell you this, do I? Just the fact that he's a politician and I said he's opposed to something pretty much tells you that he's actually cool with it in his personal life, doesn't it?
Still, let's hear all about how much Fincher loves to take government money. Over at the Environmental Working Group, they say:
USDA data collected in EWG’s 2013 farm subsidy database update — going live tomorrow —shows that Fincher collected a staggering $3.48 million in “our” money from 1999 to 2012. In 2012 alone, the congressman was cut a government check for a $70,000 direct payment. Direct payments are issued automatically, regardless of need, and go predominantly to the largest, most profitable farm operations in the country.
Fincher’s $70,000 farm subsidy haul in 2012 dwarfs the average 2012 SNAP benefit in Tennessee of $1,586.40, and it is nearly double of Tennessee’s median household income. After voting to cut SNAP by more than $20 billion, Fincher joined his colleagues to support a proposal to expand crop insurance subsidies by $9 billion over the next 10 years.
Let me repeat — last year welfare king Fincher took from the government $70,000 in farm subsidies. That's food stamps for 43 families. But food stamps are too generous, according to him. Between the bad theology and the hypocrisy, it's clear that, regardless of what cards Fincher's holding, he's dealing Tennessee a losing hand.