It's Mao Tse-tung vs. Daniel Boone! Chinese Commies Threaten to Blow Tops Off Our Mountains

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In a shocker, some Tennessee conservatives are joining the tree-huggers and moonbeams trying to pass a law banning coal companies from blowing the tops off our mountains. But conservatives aren't in it necessarily for any pussbag reasons like saving the environment. No, theirs is a manly purpose: Stopping Red China from dynamiting our sacred highlands and stealing our coal!

This ad—part of the newly launched media campaign by the Tennessee Conservative Union—references reports that we have become the first state in the nation to let a Chinese-owned company buy mineral rights and extract Tennessee coal. Triple H Coal Company, based out of Jacksboro, Tenn., was acquired by Guizhou Gouchuang Energy Holdings Group last year.

“Every Tennessean, regardless of political affiliation, should be appalled by the idea of allowing the red Chinese to destroy the very mountains crossed by Daniel Boone.” Tennessee Conservative Union chairman Lloyd Daughtery says. “We are calling on elected officials of both parties to stand up for Tennessee’s mountains and against the exploitation of our resources by a communist country. Tennessee is a proud red state, but the Tennessee Conservative Union is not willing to go that red.”

Legislation to ban this environmentally devastating method of coal mining is on the agenda in legislative committees tomorrow. For umpteen years, lawmakers in the back pockets of the coal companies have killed this bill, despite preachers and their congregations fervently praying for its passage.

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