If any of you out there in Pith-land doubted the focus and resolve of our esteemed state legislature to address the most important issues facing the great state of Tennessee, please allow me to see your doubts and raise them five-fold.
Rep. Jeremy Faison filed this spectacular House Joint Resolution urging the Tennessee Titans to sign former Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning.
Click through to read the legislation's text in its entirety, because it is awesome in a gushing, middle-school-notebook kind of way (bold emphasis Pith's):
WHEREAS, Peyton Manning has distinguished himself as one of the greatest NFL quarterbacks ever during his thirteen-year career in professional football, having completed more passes and thrown for more yards and touchdowns during that span than any player in NFL history; and
WHEREAS, Mr. Manning is also the only NFL player to accumulate more than 40,000 passing yards, more than 300 passing touchdowns, and 115 wins in a single decade; and
WHEREAS, in addition to being named league MVP for a record-setting four times and being selected to eleven Pro Bowls and five NFL All-Pro First Teams, Peyton Manning led the Indianapolis Colts to a NFL championship in Super Bowl XLI and was named MVP of that game; and
WHEREAS, before he became the greatest quarterback of his generation, many of us remember when Mr. Manning first matriculated to the University of Tennessee at Knoxville, where he was proud to be a Volunteer; and
WHEREAS, during his brilliant collegiate career, Peyton Manning excelled to become the University of Tennessee's all-time leading passer and set forty-two NCAA, SEC, and UT records while going 39-6 as UT's starting quarterback; and
WHEREAS, even though he had completed the requirements for his bachelor's degree as a junior, he returned for an outstanding senior season at the University of Tennessee, from which he graduated Phi Beta Kappa; he was named to the GTE All-American Team and received the prestigious Maxwell Trophy, Davey O'Brien Award, Johnny Unitas Award, and Sullivan Award before being selected first overall in the 1998 NFL draft; and
WHEREAS, recent events have resulted in Mr. Manning being set free from his contractual obligations, and he is presently travelling across the country in search of a new football home; and
WHEREAS, Mr. Manning is meeting with Titans officials in Nashville to discuss the possibility of him returning home to Tennessee to play quarterback in the NFL; and
WHEREAS, we know that Peyton is still proud to be a Volunteer and longs in his heart to return to Tennessee as the quarterback for the Titans, a match truly made in Heaven; and
WHEREAS, the same loyal fans who cheered his superior play as a Vol in Knoxville will once again erupt with joy as he throws touchdown after touchdown for the Boys in Blue in Nashville and leads the Titans to a Super Bowl victory; and
WHEREAS, there has never been a more logical pairing of player and team in football history, and this General Assembly wishes to offer all necessary assistance to make this dream a reality; now, therefore,
BE IT RESOLVED BY THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES OF THE ONE HUNDRED SEVENTH GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE STATE OF TENNESSEE, THE SENATE CONCURRING, that this General Assembly wholeheartedly supports the Tennessee Titans signing Peyton Manning and urges Mr. Manning to remember his roots in the Volunteer State as he makes his decision about where to play football in 2012.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that we welcome Peyton Manning to Nashville, where he will surely play football for many more years and lead the Titans to several NFL championships.
(h/t Steven Hale)