Stacey Campfield's Reefer Madness

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Is Campfields move a thinly veiled attempt to hurt the MoonPie industry?
  • Is Campfield's move a thinly veiled attempt to hurt the MoonPie industry?
Our dear friend, state Sen. Stacey Campfield, who is famous for his legislation designed to protect you from lyin' bitchez and hearing about gay people, is working on drug-testing welfare recipients. Yes, this was tried in Florida. Yes, it has enormous problems and ended up costing the state millions of dollars.

But Campfield has thought of that:

First, Campfield proposes to have the legislation exclude persons already signed up for benefits and apply it only to new applicants. Also, the applicant would be required to cover the cost without state reimbursement. He estimated the costs could be kept to "only $4 or $5" by limiting the tests to "hardcore illegal drugs" such as cocaine, heroin and marijuana.

One objection to the Florida law, he said, is that the screen included prescription drugs in violation of medical privacy rights. Another legal objection in Florida was that those found to be using drugs could be prosecuted. His bills, Campfield said, will provide that a positive test be used only to block benefits, not for prosecution.


OK, so obviously he hasn't thought that hard about this. Cocaine is still used as a topical anesthetic in some cases of mouth and nose surgery, so a person could have a medical reason for having cocaine in his system and he'd be forced to disclose that in order to justify a positive test result (thus violating his medical privacy rights). And heroin? Forget it. The difference between heroin (illegal) and morphine (a medication) is a hydrocarbon.

So, the only "hardcore" drug Campfield could actually easily test for without violating people's medical privacy rights?

Pot.

Yes, Stacey Campfield wants to protect us from the scourge of welfare recipients who smoke pot. And good ole Ron Ramsey supports this because, "I don't think we need to be supporting that lifestyle with government money."

That lifestyle? What do Campfield and Ramsey have against grinning people with live-and-let-live attitudes who support our state's MoonPie industry? Is happiness now something Republicans consider a problematic lifestyle choice?

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