Lunchroom Cowboy: Smyrna Kid Busted for Gun-Shaped Pizza Slice



This poor 10-year-old kid in Smyrna got in trouble for eating his pizza into the shape of a gun and threatening other students with it. Yes, a piece of pizza shaped like a gun.

I have a 10-year-old nephew. He's kind of at an idiotic stage. He wants very much to be grown up, so he runs around singing "I like big butts, and I cannot lie" straight through to "I get sprung," which he finds hilarious because it mortifies my mom. He, himself, has no idea what "get sprung" means, but adults say it (so it must be cool) and it bothers his Grandma (so it's funny). But he also still likes to hug on his Grandma. Just last month, he got grounded off of Facebook for dropping an f-bomb. Shoot, if I got grounded off of Pith for dropping f-bombs, I'd never get to write here.

What I mean is that it's kind of an awkward time where kids are experimenting with ideas and actions a little too big for them. And it is our job as adults to guide them through these times without overreacting to the times when they experiment and fail. A kid eating a piece of pizza into the shape of a gun and then being stupid? It's literally just that — stupid.

You bring him in. You have a little talk with him about being stupid. You explain that guns really freak some people out and, if people are freaked out, it makes it tough for them to learn. You tell him it's a waste of perfectly good cafeteria pizza, then you tell him not to do it again. But this poor kid? If he eats his pizza into the shape of a gun again, he's getting suspended.

Is that improving school safety? There was no gun. There was only pizza. So, no. It's just a little theater designed to show that the school is on top of things, which really isn't the same as the school doing right by the kids in it.

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