by Tracy Moore
I don't know what it is about them — their life experience, their time in the trenches of the sisterhood, but the important thing is that they get us, they really get us. I love the way that, while we're out banging dudes we've just met, they're at home reading The Secret and thinking about the big picture.
But they can't take care of everything: Old white dudes need our help getting the word out. The problem is that it's not easy enough for the average person to articulate exactly why poor women and children are such ghastly people, and in such need of having more services taken away from them. (I think it's because they choose to be poor, and when people try to tell them about birth control, they are too busy revirginizing themselves to listen.)
Anyway, I'm not sure if there are any services left to take away from them, but I bet there are at least a couple — and you know what poor women do with a couple of anything? They make more babies and then go have abortion parties at Planned Parenthood. (They even make T-shirts! It's like a Tupperware party for your vagina.)
The ladies at Jezebel understand this, so they came up with a handy set of Mad Libs to plug in the sentiments we've all been trying to come up with to show poor women and children who's boss, but just haven't had the language for.
Grab a printable copy here.