English-Only Bill Dies in State House



Rep. Eric Watson
  • Rep. Eric Watson
In a rare display of common sense, the hillbilly Einsteins in the state House have just refused to embarrass Tennessee by passing a law to require that we give driver’s license exams in English only.

Resisting the allure of election-year demagoguery for once in their lives, they decided this one was just too stupid even by their standards. It had been amended into meaningless drivel, but it still would have pissed off every foreign-owned company in the state and every business around the globe that might ever think about locating here. The companion bill passed the Senate 22-10 this week.

House Speaker Kent Williams was especially upset because the racist outfit English Only made robo calls into his district telling constituents he favors illegal immigration.

“There’s something inside me that just won’t allow me to be silent,” an agitated Williams said before the House budget subcommittee voted to kill the bill for this session. “There’s nobody sitting at this table in this group that’s for illegal immigration, and to turn this around and to spread these kinds of falsehoods because of political reasons just really upsets me.”

The sponsor of this fabulous idea was Rep. Eric Watson, R-Cleveland. He’s the guy who once said: ““It’ll be a sad day when queers and lesbians are allowed to get married ... and kiss in front of the courthouse” and who also referred weirdly to “Hispaniels and the yellow man” in explaining last year why he couldn’t bring himself to vote for a resolution expressing regret for slavery.

Today he refrained from creating new species of humans to insult and contented himself with deriding “illegals” who he called “them people.”

“When we allowed them people to take tests in a foreign language, the accidents went up,” he said.

Reinforcing his point, he said, “It was in the paper. I ain’t making it up. This is facts.”

Maybe next year, Watson should introduce legislation to allow driver's license exams in the bumpkin language.

Update: House jester Stacey Campfield decries the subcommittee's action:

Former Democrat speaker Jimmy Naifeh, always doing all he can to reach out to illegal aliens, said the bill sends the wrong message some people. That Tennessee is not welcoming to illegal aliens. I guess he sent out the message that safety on Tennessee roads is not important either.

Speaker Williams addressed the safety issue too:

If we’re worried about safety, how come nobody has legislation to ban cell phones while you’re driving? That causes more deaths related to car accidents than anything else in the United States. I don’t hear anyone. It causes more than drunk driving. I don’t hear anyone out there crying about that as a safety issue.

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