Tennessee: Bumbling Fools of Evil



The Senate version of the English-only driver's license test bill now is no longer English-only. If you are here legally, under the Senate bill, you can take the driver's license test in any number of languages. Since people here illegally can't get a driver's license, the Senate version of the bill succeeds in keeping things exactly as they are, only with a frowny new punitive face.

Yes, folks, we have reached a new low (or high, I guess, depending on whether you follow politics for seriousness or for fun): we can't even discriminate against people properly. I mean, it's one thing to look like an ignorant bigot, unwelcoming of foreign investors and their money — but to look like ignorant bigot dumbasses?

Sen. Bill Ketron says that the bill at least still sends a message that we prefer the test be given in English.

But that's not the only message it sends. It also sends a message that we can't even do evil right. I mean, honestly, folks, even if foreign companies still wanted to come here in the face of an English-only law, when they realize that we don't even know what "English-only" means, that will have to give them pause. Who would willingly move to a state, knowing its school systems produced the kind of genius lawmakers who don't even know what "only" means? How do you get through 12 years of school and not encounter "only?"

We all know the message they really want to send — "Anyone different from us is not welcome here." So why don't we just drop the pretense of hospitality and say so? It's like saying "Bless your heart" when you mean "Can't you die any faster?" It's not like it's somehow more palatable to be a huge bigoted jerk if you are passive-aggressively stupid about it.

It hurts my heart, it's so embarrassing. Here's Arizona, looking like Sauron, and we're a step below Gargamel.

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