Revolt of the Moonbeams! Chapter Two


The moonbeams have landed!
  • The moonbeams have landed!
At last report, Nashville's moonbeams were organizing to take control of state politics and reign supreme over Tennessee in a new age of enlightenment. Although he'd not heard a word about these activities until we told him, Democratic Party chairman Chip Forrester immediately proclaimed he was working with the lefties in their quest, united together for a better tomorrow. Now, more intelligence has arrived from Pith's stable of smug anonymous insiders suggesting Forrester might have exaggerated the strength of this new alliance just slightly. The leaders of the moonbeam movement--party apparatchiks Mary Mancini and Won Choi--have turned against Forrester, according to this information, and they are staging what amounts to an insurrection. "The move to form this group is definitely motivated by anti-Chip sentiment," one source says. "Won Choi and Mary Mancini are the driving force behind it. They've become disillusioned with Chip because he doesn't do everything they tell him to do." More from this insider: "Mary and Won are thoroughly convinced that Tennessee is filled with throngs of Rachel-Maddow-loving lefties that are just looking for someone to lead them out of the wilderness. Of course, Won and Mary view themselves as the moonbeam Moses." The moonbeams themselves are innocently batting their eyes and denying any rebellious intent. Metro Councilman Mike Jameson attended one meeting called by Mancini and Choi and gave this report to Pith: "I know you'll roll your eyes at this, but I just saw a group of earnest people who are genuinely committed to taking back the state. I didn't get the impression that this was an opposition group or alternative to the Democratic Party at all." But another source says the moonbeams are striking out on their own because they feel handcuffed by party elders who somehow can't see that liberalism is on the rise in Tennessee. "They think they can go in another direction if they have this other entity out there working totally on their behalf and not have to answer to any other more realists in the party." This source adds something all Democrats probably would do well to consider: "We all need to come together and quit this shit and work for the common good." Update: In a salty rebuke, Sean Braisted casts aspersions at Pith's favorite bar as well as a certain senior adviser to the governor. Update II: Mancini claims what she's doing is nonpartisan. So in her email to supporters, why did she talk so much about organizing for elections?

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