Oh, Cary Tennis; A Tale of Anti-Southern Bias


In spite of my slovenly, thoughtless ways, I'm quite the fan of advice columns and columnists. All but one. Salon's Cary Tennis. The man will give a meandering essay answer to a true-or-false question, and I've never found his non sequitur approach to advice-giving to be an effective one. Usually he just annoys me. Today he angered me. Long story short - woman in the Northeast was laid off, has a job offer in the Bible Belt, is terrified her precious, nature-loving, Darwin reading (yeah, right) 12-year-old will be kicked in the face on a daily basis by Southern ignorami. What oh what should she do? To be fair to Mr. Tennis, he does ask her to understand why she keeps repeating a pattern of job loss. I agree with that bit. But he never provides the bit of advice I'm sure you're all anticipating: get over yourself, lady. I'm so sorry we don't have museums, theaters, parks, scientists, art, a rich literary history, and some of the most prestigious universities in the country down here in this godforsaken retard hellhole. And Tennis - the nerve of this guy - actually tells her, "In a new area, one often has to pay for things one found for free before," in regards to the outdoors. What is he talking about? We know Atlanta isn't New York. We know Nashville isn't Boston. But to not tell this lady (who is clearly a special kind of liberal crazy I find offensive) to get over her bigotry is just bad advice.

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