Not So Breaking News: Idiot Allegedly Tries to Burn Down Ryman Auditorium

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In case you missed it: Alleged admitted arsonist and all-but-confirmed idiot Jeffrey Parsley, apparently not a country music fan, is accused of trying to burn down the historic Ryman Auditorium on Aug. 18. For Nashvillians, that’s like the Boston equivalent of pissing on Fenway Park; the New York City equivalent of taking a sledge hammer to the Statue of Liberty; or the Austin, Texas, equivalent of calling Stevie Ray Vaughan overrated (even if Stevie Ray Vaughan was totally overrated).

According to WSMV, surveillance cameras caught the since-jailed firebug as he ignited newspapers at the hallowed hall’s "back door" facing Fifth Avenue, which was slightly singed (and has since been replaced). Luckily, heroic firefighters extinguished the foot-high blaze before any significant damage was done.

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