Spurgeon’s General Warning: Grown-Ups

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Kids today grow up so fast, except for when they don't. You should embrace your childhood for as long as you can, but also take responsibility as it comes at you. Youth is wasted on the young! Did you know kids born in 2007 are in Kindergarten already? Is this a long-winded way of saying I want to talk about Teen Mom? No, but in retrospect it should have been. Feel free to talk about Teen Mom in the comments, or talk about any of the below songs about that #awkward age between childhood and adulthood.

Britney Spears, “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman”


 
Protagonist Age: Spears was 19 at the time of recording.
Fun Fact: Co-written by Dido. In the liner notes of the album, Spears says “Thanks for your input.”
Is She Gonna Be OK? Maybe. She’s “seen so much more than you know now,” which could mean either a bad breakup or the visceral horrors of war.
 

Alice Cooper, “I’m 18”


 
Protagonist Age: He’s EIGHT-TEEN
Fun Fact: If this song were a person, it would be 43 years old. The protagonist would be 61. Alice Cooper, now 65 years old, is eligible to receive Social Security benefits.
Is He Gonna Be OK? Yes. He likes being 18, and will presumably like all of his other ages, which is all we can really ask for.

 
Blink 182, “What’s My Age Again”


 
Protagonist Age: 23
Unfun fact: The lady in music video and on the cover of Blink 182’s terribly named album has had some problems.
Is He Gonna Be OK? No, the problems presented are more an issue of “being a dick” than “being immature.”

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