by Adam Gold
Aside from, you know, blues music, what has the American South ever given The Rolling Stones?
Apparently, England’s Oldest Hitmakers don’t think Virginia and surrounding below-Mason-Dixon-Line locales are so sweet after all, as the band’s long-awaited 50 and Counting Tour itinerary — announced this morning — includes not a single Southern date; not even Texas or Florida (which arguably don’t even count anyway). You’d think the band would at least light up Atlanta on this nine-date trek, which kicks off next month at L.A.’s Staples Center. No dice.
At press time, Chicago (on May 28) is the closest Rolling Stones road-trip destination for General Lee drivers. Even Canada — a country that once threatened to incarcerate Keith Richards — is getting a 2013 Stones show.
Certainly it takes the widespread perennial adulation of millions to persist as rock ’n’ roll’s biggest band for five decades and counting, and there are certainly a lot of “people” in the South, to be sure. But as anyone aware of the Stone’s eye-watteringly, one-percenter-exclusive ticket prices (or anyone who’s ever seen the eye-openingly embarrassing 2001 VH1 documentary Being Mick, or watched the tour-announcement promo clip above) can attest, Mick Jagger is anything but a man of the people. But it’s a band’s body of work that counts. And few bands artistically owe a greater debt of gratitude to the South than The Rolling Stones, who’ve built a musical dynasty recasting Southern legends from Robert Johnson to Gram Parsons in their own swaggering image.
If recent reports of the band plotting 19 U.S. dates are true, that leaves a potential 10 dates in cities still to be announced. Let’s cross our fingers and hope that at least one of them lands the band somewhere in the region before they completely fossilize.
Rolling Stones 50 and Counting Tour dates:
Date TBA Los Angeles, CA — Staples Center
5/5 Oakland, CA — Oracle Arena
5/8 San Jose, CA — HP Pavilion
5/11 Las Vegas, NV — MGM Grand Garden Arena
5/15 Anaheim, CA — Honda Center
5/25 Toronto, ON — Air Canada Centre
5/28 Chicago, IL — United Center
6/12 Boston, MA — TD Garden
6/18 Philadelphia, PA — Wells Fargo Center