Nashville's 'Official' 'Pro' Basketball Team, The Pioneers, Apparently Features Chancellor Warhol, Evan P. Donohue, William Tyler and More



From the Department of Wait ... What? comes this perplexing befuddler: A sports unit — basketball, specifically — calling itself The Nashville Pioneers has sprung up seemingly overnight. They have a website, a Facebook page, a Twitter account and a web store, and according to their team roster, members include local hip-hop artist Chancellor Warhol, Heypenny frontman Ben Elkins, guitarman William Tyler, rock 'n' rollers Evan P. Donohue and Reno Bo, artist Adrien Saporiti, designer Otis James and more. Also, their coach is apparently singer-songwriter and music industry honcho Bob Saporiti.

So, cool. Right on. As mentioned in the team bio, Music City already has football, hockey and [minor league] baseball on lock, but we have a "gaping hole" (their words, not ours) where a basketball just might fit. Will they play real games? According to the team's schedule, they have matches slated against "Greenland," "Rhode Island," "Yukon Territory," etc. But what's this? A press release:

The Nashville Pioneers are Nashville's official basketball team. Official by default, as Nashville did not have a professional basketball team prior to us. Which is exactly why we exist! We like hockey and football fine, but we wanted a pro basketball team, therefore we had to start our own!

We couldn't afford to steal Kobe or LeBron away, so we used the vast pool of local talent that is unique to Nashville, actual basketball skills be damned! What we have here is a group of guys who represent some of Nashville's finest and most talented young creators and entrepreneurs.

We have pep rallies, post game celebrations, and yes, possibly even actual games already planned.

Nashville, we are your team. Won't you show your support and join us?

By definition, "post-game celebrations" most typically come, you know, after games. Perhaps The Pioneers wanted to get their cart all situated before they found a proper horse. Anyway. Games? When? Where? I'll show up. As previously mentioned, I've served as an official mascot on more than one occasion. Find me a giant paper-mâché pioneer head and I'm there.

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