Missed Connection: Green Hills Shopper Thinks She Has a Shot With Jack White



Crushing snowballs and the hearts of 24-year-olds.
Well, there are two approaches to this whole Missed Connection thing. There's the vague, half-assed, ill-advised approach, in which a guy is like, "Hey. I'm a dude. Holler at me." And then there's the ambitious, mirthful but totally genuine sights-high/expectations-low approach, in which a young lady is like, "Hey, you. The rock star. Take me on a date. But just one, and no funny business." The latter makes for a better read. From Craigslist:

Dearest Jack White,
I saw you at Green Hills Mall about 2 months ago. I thought you didn't see me, but, obviously you did because you just had your divorce party!
We may not have much in common other than a deeply hidden love of mall wondering at early afternoon hours and an aversion to sunlight, but that's not all that bad!
So yea, let's go out for a date. Date meaning singular, as I am sure you have a lot on your plate right now, and I just want a companion to go to a potentially embarrassing movie with. Any time, whatevs is most ideal for you. Lets make the magic happen Jack! You buy the movie, I'll buy the Junior Mints.

The divorce party to which she refers, of course, is the one White and his former old lady, Karen Elson, threw last month at an undisclosed location.

You know what? At least our young mystery woman is somewhat charming about it. And the confidence doesn't hurt. If J-Dub doesn't holler back at her, maybe somebody else will. Who here likes pale young women with "potentially embarrassing" taste? Oh, right. It's the Internet. Everyone here likes that.

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