Road Trip to, uh, Sarasota? [We Might as Well Go Before the Gulf Coast Is Covered in Oil]



Soon this wont be the only oil wrestling in Florida.
  • Soon this won't be the only oil wrestling in Florida.
So you might have heard that there was this little mishap out in the Gulf of Mexico. You also might have heard about the petroleum-based Vinyl Music Festival in Sarasota, Fla. Oh wait, you haven't heard about Sarasota's Vinyl Music Festival and its "unprecedented pairing between local government and music enthusiasts"? That's because the lineup is total weak-sauce, all cornball, glow-stick second-stringers, but they sent us a press release and it can't be unread. Why in the hell they would think that a Nashville paper with pretty limited electronic coverage would cover their little ecstasy orgy is beyond me — but then again, I gave up trying to understand Florida a while ago.

But this got me thinking — wouldn't it be nice to visit the Gulf Coast one last time before everybody is up to their proverbial nut sacks in tar balls or, even worse, Republicans? I have no interest in Vinyl, but there's gotta be something cool do to before BP's devil-splooge ruins the whole damn state. Hell, I'd settle for just sitting on the beach with a flamethrower, listening to Hot Water Music and setting the ocean on fire. I nominate Florida native and frequent commenter Larry Mell to be our tour guide/translator/mutant wrangler.

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