by Adam Gold
Two years ago, I had a friend. Let's call him Josiah. Josiah had what I'd call "good" taste in music. One day, he put on a CD and started excitedly dancing around and singing about Oxford commas and Cape Cod. At first, I laughed and said, "Josiah, why are you getting so into Jimmy Buffett right now--are you rocking out to this ironically?"
Then the next track started, after throwing up a little in my mouth, I was forced to proclaim, "Jesus fucking Christ Josiah, you just followed a Jimmy Buffett song with a Sublime song, why the fuck would anyone do that ever? Are you a sociopath and I've just never noticed?" Josiah looked perplexed. "What are you talking about?! This isn't Sublime or Jimmy Buffett." "It isn't?" I said. I was seriously trippin' at this point. Then it clicked. "Dude, Josiah, why did you buy a new Paul Simon record? Do you know who does that? No one." At this point, we both realized that neither of us were joking. Josiah said simply "Dude, it's this band of kids from the Hamptons who just got into Graceland. They're called Vampire Weekend and they're the most original and exciting band of 2008!"
Upon realizing that the musical scat of this collegiate batch of cultural imperialists was what the kids were listening to, I quickly convinced Josiah to eject the Vampire Weekend CD so I could play him some Fela Kuti. By the end of track one, the VW disc sat liquefied on the table, melted by the heat of the (Afro)beat. That was last time my friend ever listened to Vampire Weekend.
Those of you who were less fortune than Josiah and managed to get swept up in the long Vampire Weekend: You'll be super stoked to know that--according to The Ryman's Twitter--the band will appear at the hallowed auditorium on Monday, April 5. (Tickets go on sale Friday.) So get ready to bust our your white-belt-and-Birkenstocks combo for an evening of PBR chugging, noodle dancing and hippie music for hipsters. Honestly, I'm fairly surprised that Vampire Weekend are still a hot enough commodity to command a date at The Ryman--that band just seems so "last decade."
For all you hippies who like your tepid, clean tones and non-rock without pretension, you'll all be happy to know that Phisherman Trey Anastasio also appears at The Ryman on Feb. 26. Tickets for that six-string nightmare go on sale Jan. 16 via Ticketmaster.