Pop My Cherry Preview: Bonnaroo

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I've never been to a music festival before. From my whiny, indoor-kid perspective, it seems like they include everything I hate: heat, gross people high on drugs, sweating, paying for water, mud/shit puddles, camping and not showering. So, Bonnaroo, here I come!

As a festival virgin, I'm not totally sure what to expect: It'll either be the best time I've ever had, or the worst. I've already bought my SPF 70 and floppy grandma hat, so I think I might be safe on the sunshine front...but what of the rest?

Any advice on how to maneuver the crowds? Do I need to nerd it up and write a schedule for acts I want to see, or play it by ear? What's the recommended beer-to-water ratio? Can a carton of cigarettes get me through the weekend? Should I stand next to Gold during Springsteen? How much cash should I bring? Do they have funnel cakes?

I'll keep you Creamers posted on the fascinating topic of my festival experience, as well as off-the-cuff impressions of bands never-before-seen (by me). I'm bringing a notebook and everything, just like a real journalist!

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