by Adam Gold
With harsh economic times at our doorstep, sometimes we must go to drastic lengths to keep our heads above water. I was perusing Craigslist today looking for ways to make some extra cash that aren't gonna make my dick fall off. It was then that I stumbled on a fantastic money-making opportunity. Are any of you out there fans of The Doors? I'm not. But that isn't going to stop me from considering this offer posted by an unnamed sorority:
I AM IN NEED OF A DOORS TRIBUTE BAND FOR A SORORITY FUNCTION. OUR BUDGET IS $2000.00 FOR A FOUR HOUR EVENT ON MARCH 14TH, 2009. IF YOUR INTERESTED SEND ALL INFORMATION I.E. AUDIO CLIPS, MYSPACE, WEBSITE LINKS TO YOUR BAND AND MUSIC. REPLY TO JGMUSICGROUP@AOL.COM IF INTERESTED.
So I'm in for the part of John Densmore, and Jack Silverman is in for the role of Robby Krieger, all we need is a guy who can play some Rhodes bass & Vox organ simultaneously (Matt Rowland we're looking at you) and, most importantly a good Jimpersonator.
I'm thinking Chris Crofton would work. He'd make a much more interesting lizard king than some clueless starry-eyed 12th and Porter rockstar supernova. Seriously, if we can just get together a four-hour version of "The End" then I think we'll be fine. If not, "the only way out is death." And just think about how it's gonna light all them sorority girls' fires when the peyote kicks in and we roadhouse into "Touch Me." In considering this gig I took it upon myself to research my (our) potential competition. 'Twas then that I discovered this MySpace page for local "premier Doors tribute band" Lost Sideshow. (You owe it to yourself to give them a listen, they're funny.) I didn't see Mar. 14 on their upcoming shows, so I bet they're available. Come to think of it, I'm willing to bet that Krieger and Manzarek's Riders on the Storm, formerly The Doors of the 21st Century, would be happy to take this gig in order to pay off the multiple lawsuits that were flung every-which-way in the wake of their ill-fated attempts to ride their own 35-year-old coattails. Let's make this happen. Break on through!