"Losing Guitar Cables And Money All Across Texas - Fuck That Shit!"

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The above quote is from my pal James, when he was explaining why he wouldn't be making the trek to Austin this spring. I've been repeating it to myself while in a Theraflu-induced stupor. It's not making me feel better. I wish I was healthy and I wish I was at a rock show in the Lone Star state. I'd also really like a taco, but that's another story.

In order to relieve the drudgery of another partly cloudy day on the cube-farm I have compiled a list of ultra-awesome (or, at least, better than boring) things for you to peruse:

- Jex Toth. James and his wife Jessica have a metal band, a super-heavy psychedelic-doom band. Plus they live in Murfreesboro, which has been running low on good bands lately.

- Death Metal Puppy. See video above...with all this metal nonsense, I am starting to sound like Matt Sullivan. Ewww.

- The Great Man-Glue-For-Bonaroo Hoax of '08. Damn kids these days...

- The Triumph Of Bullshit. I think the title speaks for itself.

- Chris Crofton's Exploding Nipple. You might hate the band, but you cannot deny Chris Crofton's fiery sex appeal.

- And best of all, BIBLE FIGHT!!!!

I'd also like to conduct an informal poll: Where did you get your booze when you were underage and what did you drink? Is it safe to assume that Cream readers were the type of kids who paid homeless people to buy them cases of Wild Irish Rose?

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