New Year's Anti-Resolutions



I hate New Year's resolutions.

Before you call me whatever kind of Grinch that makes me, hear me out. Obviously, anytime that anyone wants to make a positive change in their life, that's an awesome thing. But I believe the very concept of a New Year's resolution pressures people to make massive overhauls in unrealistic timeframes, therefore setting themselves up for failure. I also believe that it makes my yoga classes extra crowded for several weeks.

That being said, in the spirit of being open minded and trying new things — my girlfriends and I called 2012 the year of the "yes," and 2013 will be the year of "doing it for the story" — I'm going to make a few resolutions that I know I can stick to in the new year. Join me, won't you? It will be fun!

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1. Eat more dessert at breakfast.

This should be easy, because as I'm typing this, there are three different kinds of cookies on my desk and something pink with nuts of questionable origin inside. Thank you, coworkers, for keeping the carbfest going strong, post Xmas. Anyway, there is actually research to support that this is not a bad idea. Seriously! Even Oprah endorsed it, so there you go. Results from this awesome study ran in O, The Oprah Magazine earlier this year:

"In the study, two groups of overweight and obese people were instructed to consume the same number of calories daily (1,400 for women, 1,600 for men); the difference was that one group ate a modest breakfast each morning, while the other went all out with a high-calorie (600), high-carb (60 grams), high-protein (45 grams) meal that included a sugary treat. (Imagine a scramble of cottage cheese and eggs—two with the yolk, one without—on whole grain toast, an eight-ounce container of low-fat yogurt on the side, plus a fudge brownie.)

After eight months, the dessert-at-breakfast group had lost an average of 38 more pounds per person than the traditional dieters. An interesting twist occurred halfway through the study: During the first 16 weeks, both groups dropped about the same amount of weight. But over the next 16 weeks, the big-breakfast eaters continued to slim down (losing another 15 pounds) while the small-breakfast eaters gained back more than 75 percent of the weight they'd lost. Why? They'd started to cheat—which makes sense given that they reported feeling hungrier and had higher levels of the appetite hormone ghrelin."

So, plan to cheat a little and then you won't cheat a lot. That does make sense. Which brings me to Resolution Number Two ...


2. Cheat On Myself and Stop Feeling Bad About It
Here's the thing: I work in an office with a lot of very smart people who are experts on everything from obscure post-whatever music to Greco-Roman wrestling. Unless someone wants to debate the most depressingly beautiful Nick Drake lyric or '90s grunge fashion, I'm at a bit of a loss sometimes. So I try to read more books, see more movies, and soak up every drop of culture that this city offers.

But sometimes I need a break. Sometimes I want to read US Weekly. Sometimes I want to watch Kathie Lee and Hoda — the often lampooned fourth hour of the Today show — because they make me laugh. And I'm reaching the point where I am totally OK with cheating on my relentless pursuit of getting smarter. Let's face it, I'm never going to be a Mensa member, and watching two middle aged ladies get sauced before 11 am makes me happy. And that's just fine!

Speaking of getting sauced ...


3. Drink More Local
Just like Kathie Lee and Hoda, I like my adult beverages. But just as I try my best to shop local when it comes to clothing, accessories, or groceries, I think I can do better with drinking local.

Luckily, this resolution could mean that I will simply patronize local bars more. But it also means that I can make a better effort to consume locally created beverages like my beloved Yazoo or Corsair. That should be easy enough.

Maybe New Year's resolutions aren't so bad after all ...

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