Not unlike Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Room is the kind of cult film that is completely worthless to watch on your own. In fact, I specifically attempt to dissuade people from watching it on Netflix or DVD after inevitably hyping it up. This is a movie that is only fun to watch with 300 strangers in a crowded movie theater, hurling spoons and laughing until you can't breathe.
After the jump, you'll find a brief guide for newbies on how to survive The Room. It's not necessary for your enjoyment of the movie, but it couldn't hurt either.
• One (1) NERF football. Only to be thrown underhanded during the scenes where people inexplicably play football.
• Your tickets, bought ahead of time. Seriously, this thing will likely sell out.
• "HI DENNY!/BYE DENNY!" — Whenever Johnny's neighbor/surrogate son drops by or leaves.
• "BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOMAN!" — Whenever a character casually drops something that is completely misogynistic (most of the movie).
• "MEANWHILE IN SAN FRANCISCO!" — Shouted during establishment shots to remind you that, yes, this movie is set in San Francisco.
• "FOCUS! UNFOCUS!" — Whenever the movie drifts out of focus (or when you wish it would).
• "HUSBAND. OF. THE. FUTURE!" — Whenever Johnny refers to himself as Lisa's "future husband."
• "[GROSS KISSING NOISES]" — Whenever two characters start making out. I think they're doing it wrong.
• "GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!" — Chanted during pans over the Golden Gate Bridge. Celebrate if it gets all the way across without cutting.
• "WHAT CANDLES?" — When Mark attempts to make Lisa's seduction sound a lot sexier than it actually is.
• "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA!" — The "call me Ishmael" of this dumb, dumb movie. Preceded by the lines "you're lying, I never hit you."
• A crowd of people leaving the theater during the fourth sex scene, occasionally shouting insults at the people who have stuck around.
• A smaller crowd of people trying to get Johnny's attention during a party scene.
• Remember that spoon picture frame? Just pay attention during the fight scene near the end of the movie.
• Don't throw spoons at the screen. Seriously. Don't do it. They'll shut the movie down and you'll all have to go home.