by Abby White
In this week's City Paper, I assembled a CMA Awards Bingo Board so everyone could create a drinking game of the most likely things to see at last night's awards.
I only watched the show for about 10 minutes, but I'd like to point out that I filled half the Bingo board by that point, so I figured my job was done.
Eric Church wearing sunglasses ... inside (Hey, don't judge! Those stage lights are bright!)
Carrie Underwood's legs (I mean, if I had legs like those, you'd be seeing them 24/7, too.)
Taylor Swift with straight hair and bangs (should have predicted that she'd take the RED theme awfully seriously, too.)
A Willie Nelson/marijuana joke (Proof that smoking pot does not prevent one from winning a Lifetime Achievement Award. GO WILLIE!!)
Luke Bryan in tight pants! (Also, I learned that Luke tossed his underwear into the crowd during the CMT Awards this summer, which officially makes him my favorite person in contemporary country music.)
Speaking of Luke Bryan, I always get him mixed up with Jake Owen. I don't know why. But here they both are in the same photo, so I can no longer assume they are the same person.
Speaking of Jake Owen, I'm more interested in Cake Bowen. And I want to find him. Can anyone help??
Email me here if so. I'll give you some sort of reward if you can lead me to him ... There is some cool shit on my desk right now.