Fashion Crimes 101



So, I have a feeling that this weather is jacking with everyone's swagger as much as it is mine. You know, you've already packed up the sundresses and sandals, and you've spent your recent candy money on jackets, boots, and $30 tights that double as pants. Suddenly, it's 80+ degrees, and your sweater is strangling you while your skinny jeans run for cover.

Thus, in celebration of rapidly swinging temperatures and schizophrenic wardrobes, we offer our favorite examples of fashion trends that make absolutely no sense.

Supreme flares. Why? Are you hiding a giant snack in your pocket? Awful. Put it on a Kardashian, and even worse. This is a travesty to denim and should be set on fire. The pants, too.

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Nude leggings. No. Never, ever ever. Doesn't matter if you look like this:

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Or this:

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Just don't ever do it.

I didn't really take the time to research this one fully, but I knew I wanted to find some sort of knit swimwear. Because nothing goes with water like yarn, right? Who came up with this concept? When yarn gets wet, it gets heavy, and it stretches out, and suddenly you have issues if you are wearing a crocheted bikini. OK. So a dude came up with this concept. Anyway, in my search for the best example of a ridiculous knit bikini, I found this. Not sure where the bottoms are, but whatever. You get the idea.

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I'm sure spats served some sort of important purpose in history, but I'm way too disinterested to research it, mainly because they look like half shoe condoms. Unless you are at a renaissance festival, these are off limits.

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You may think your knee socks look cute, but you look like a prostitot. No.

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I do not understand the whole onesie/romper/jumpsuit resurgence. Unless you are a baby, this is just silly. How are you going to pee in that? What a pain. This one gets extra bad points for being a strange onesie/overall concept. Bad form.

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Some patterned tights are cute. Some make you look like a drunk 6-year-old.

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