What To Wear: Vampire Fetish Ball vs. Children's Charity Event

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So on Friday I have to go to two events: a children's charity thing in Franklin immediately followed by a Vampire Fetish Ball on Church Street. I'm trying to figure out what I could wear to both, but I have a feeling that it's going to be really hard to fit a shiny vampire cape under a modest-looking dress.

Anyway, regardless of what I end up wearing — and, ultimately, scaring children in — I am definitely going to be rocking a pair of these:

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(Completely concealed at the children's charity event, of course. I'm not a savage.)

That's right, ta-ta-toos, temporary breast tattoos, kind of like the ones you'd find in a Cracker Jack box, but naughtier. Because, as we all learned on Mean Girls, Halloween is just an excuse for girls to dress up as a slutty version of something, right?

Also, I have a package of these ta-ta-toos on my desk (thank you, random publicist), and I can't really think of any other time that I could get away with wearing something like this except on Slutoween.

If you peruse the website, you'll see many options for your ta-ta-toos.

There's the general LET'S CELEBRATE, which is handy for any situation:

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Or, if you're looking for something for a specific special occasion, here you go:

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Maybe you have an announcement you'd like to share with the world (you might want to put these on after you walk down the aisle):

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Speaking of announcements, this is not the way to share the news with your parents:

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Bilingual!

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Um ... well, there's no beating around the bush with this one ...

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So, no matter what you plan to be for Halloween, a ta-ta-too is a sure way to stand apart from the crowd. My package came with "ROCK STAR" and "LUCKY YOU." Which one??

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