by Sean Maloney
I lead a life that frequently finds me wandering the city looking for food at 4 in the morning. In some cities that wouldn't be a problem, but let's be frank — we live in a city that likes to go to bed. And while I too dream of one day having the sort of sleep schedule that lines up with the rest of humanity's, I don't see it happening any time soon. Hell, I probably spend more time awake at 4 in the morning now — and with out the assistance of hard drugs! — than I ever did in my 20s, when you're supposed to be out all night. Unless of course you count the iced coffee at Sam & Zoe's as a hard drug, in which case, yes, I'm whacked out of my gourd all the time.
(Side note: If Sam & Zoe's is a hard drug, does that make Barista Parlor a designer drug? My Facebook feed would indicate that many folks have ecstasy-like reactions to their coffee. And would that then make Tiger Mart coffee the bath salts of bean-based comestibles? Just thinking out loud here.)
Anyway, back to the point of all this: Late night options are limited and I'm hoping against hope that I've missed something awesome. So, Bitesters, can you help me out? Anybody have a secret hot spot or some locals-only classic that I've managed to miss out on?
Yes, we have "24-hour" Burger Kings — which are almost never open when I try them — and Krystal always seems to be open when I'm really drunk. But most of the time when I'm looking for late-night food I'm sober and coming off an extremely long, often stressful stretch of work, and I want some real food. El Amigo and Athens are open on the weekend, but that leaves the rest of the week. Hermitage Cafe is pretty good, but I'm a little tired of it. Waffle House and White Castle have gross politics to go along with their gross food, so they're off the list. La Dolce Vita in the Eighth Avenue Kroger plaza is open until the crack of dawn, but it's close enough to the 24-hour grocery store that I end up just buying snacks and cat food. And I run through these options frequently enough that I'm a little bored.
Basically, I'm desperate for a little variety in my late-night diet. And if anybody wants to grab some grub after the Diarrhea Planet show tonight, I'm totally down.