by Sean Maloney
The drunken lunatics at Epic Meal Time seem to share the same love for intestinal/intellectual abuse, because their Web-series more or less annihilates every other attempt we've seen to make ridiculous grub. Who can argue with a line like "What's a Double Down, the manliest sandwich on the fast food menu or an overrated little b****?" And who can argue when they go on to assemble a sandwich featuring burgers, bacon, chicken, onion rings, macaroni and cheese, cheddar cheese, buns, ketchup and rum.
Wait, rum? What in the hell is rum doing in there? Do you drink the rum first so you're drunk enough to think that eating this thing is a good idea? Is it wrong that I kinda want to eat that behemoth of a meat stack, even though I'm completely and totally sober? Is there something wrong with me for wanting to go to the store and buy the ingredients to make myself a Massive Meat Log, even though I've had breakfast and a healthy snack all ready today? Is there anybody out there who would want to split The Greasiest Sandwich Ever or go halves on The Worst Pizza Ever? I mean, yeah, they're all kind of revolting, but it's the most alluring kind of revolting one could ever ask for. I mean, look at that meat log!