So your days of truffle risotto and filet mignon have been given the shaft along with your paycheck and are now days of spaghetti and hot dogs. There's no need to be depressed; simply take a tip from the Russians and play with your wieners. English Russia posts
that the country's bloggers have gone nuts over what they call a haired sausage. (Though the term "hairy wiener" better arouses my juvenile humor.)
It's not hard at all. Just take your long, stiff spaghetti and prick your wiener, threading the pasta through until the midpoint. Repeat until your meat can't take any more. Then stick your whole package in some boiling water. When you pull it out, you'll be enjoying a hairy wiener faster than you can say Yakov.
And not to be outdone by their neighbors, the Japanese have a more artistic take on wiener play. Japan Probe has a post
about a grocery store worker who erects animals and flowers from wieners. I particularly enjoy the macabre humor of the pigs made from reassembling disassembled pigs.