Snack Tray: Bacon Cakes, Tomato Sandwiches and One Funny Site

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"Original ad: 'Collector looking for vintage scotch, rum, cognac, bourbon, etc. Willing to pay top dollar for fine bottles.'" For the response, you'll have to check out DontEvenReply.com, the funniest website we've run across in months, where some sadist wreaks havoc responding to online classifieds. We know, we know, we shouldn't laugh, there but for the grace of God, etc.--but if you can read this exchange resulting from a refrigerator offer without hyperventilating, you must be the seller. Thanks for the tip, Nashville Cream.

• I like bacon and I like cake, but I'm not sure I can wrap my head around the concept of bacon cake. If you think the photo here we stole is rank, check out the others at YesButNoButYes. (More items after the jump....)

• Last weekend, courtesy of my mama, I had the best sandwiches I've ever tasted in my life: white bread, mayo, onion salt--and red and yellow tomatoes so ripe, sweet and fleshy they were almost more candy than fruit. How can you improve on the simple perfection of a down-home tomato sandwich? Nancy Vienneau wonders the same thing on Good Food Matters, weighing the traditional "Dixie" version against Italy's bruschetta. The compromise she devises is extremely enticing: a modest aioli of mayo whisked with garlic-infused olive oil and basil. There may be controversy brewing, however--she's forsaken reliable old Hellman's Mayonnaise for brash 92-year-old upstart Duke's.

• "At this point, I want to stress that potatoes are solitary creatures, they DO NOT like overcrowding or to be fiddled with to much. They become soggy in anger. Let's keep the potato happy people! And so you don't get popped, do not just throw the potatoes in the oil because you are scared of getting popped. That makes not a lick of sense. Use something to slowly ease them into the oil like if you were achy and 100 years old and you wanted to get into the bathtub, you wouldn't risk breaking a hip by just flopping in the tub, would you?" One small step in the making of can't-fail French fries, one giant leap for Evil Chef Mom.

• Who's eating where: Nashville Restaurants at Phil's Bar-B-Que in Inglewood (eeuww, lukewarm wings); Ulika at Jimmy Carl's (killer ribs) and offering a second opinion on Phil's (dig that bark); Joltin' Django at Fat Boy's BBQ in Antioch; Lannae at F. Scott's (oh, those truffle frites); Hungry Times Two at Anatolia (try the ezme starter).

• Subjects for future study: Quick Fire Saturdays at Cha Chah (via Hint of Myint); the upcoming Criterion edition of Chantal Akerman's Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (DVD); Poems 1959-2009 by Frederick Seidel (book); The Cove (documentary); WhedonFest featuring "Can't Stop the Serenity" (convention).

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