by Nicki Wood
From one WTF to another, I gotta hand it to Steve of Steve Don't Eat It, an occasional series on the blog The Sneeze ("Half blog. Half 'zine. Half Not Good with Fractions.")
From chocolate breast milk to Beggin' Strips BLT, Steve actually goes where your warped imagination has barely dared slink in its darkest moments. And he's so very funny doing it.
Here's Steve on pickled pork rind: "I think it's fair to say it was everything you'd expect from a sliver of briney (sic) fat. It was also the only time in my life my brain formed the sentence: "I have a mouth full of cellulite." And on Beggin' Strips: "Somehow these Beggin' Strips also managed to smell just like bacon. Oopsie. Typo. I meant to say "the smoky puke of a thousand maniacs."
Turn away if you're squeamish. Steve reaches some kind of height, or perhaps a low point, in describing canned cuitlacoche, a corn fungus: "In just a single serving, you'll experience a wide array of textures. Without getting too gross, it's because the disease is more advanced in some kernels than others. One bite might be kinda chewy, while the next might burst in your mouth like a black pus-filled blister."
Eat that, Andrew Zimmern and Anthony Bourdain!