by Jim Ridley
It's not boring old "raspberry," mind you—it's RAZZBERRY!!! Raspberry with a rude new attitude! Raspberry on steroids! RAZZBERRY!!! Raspberry that slaps your mama and doesn't apologize! Raspberry that screws your girlfriend, then comes around asking to borrow money! RAZZBERRY!!! Raspberry that's hip and now, the choice of a new generation! Freer! Faster! Go! GO! Raspberry that walks right past your parents and pretends not to know them! Raspberry that seizes every moment of pitiful existence like sand slipping through Apollo's fingers and shapes it into a cathedral to the very essence of artificial berry flavor engineering! RAZZBERRY!!! RAZZ-GODDAMN-BERRRREEEEEE!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
This message has been brought to you by new M&M Razzberry. "Get Razzed!"