Tiny Heinies: A Little Better Beer

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I bought a six-pack of 7 oz. Heinekens at Harris Teeter only because they were cheaper than everything around them and I wasn't really paying attention. When I got them home and saw my husband reach his man-sized mitt around a doll-sized bottle, I was too embarrassed to admit that I was a colossal dumbass, so I made some argument about why small is the new big.

I think he actually bought it, because we've been drinking small beers quite happily for about a week now.

It reminds me of when I first moved to England and my friends explained that I looked like a hussy when I ordered a whole pint--that ladies only drink half-pints. At first I took umbrage. I played rugby in college for crissakes. I could drink those limey wimps under the table. But if the limey wimps were going to be doing the buying, and they wanted to buy mini-beers, I wasn't going to complain.

That's when I learned that two halves are better than one whole when it comes to beer. With smaller beers, you can finish the whole thing while it's still cold, so you don't have the issue of those last tepid sips. Also, when you go out for lunch and down a half a lager, you can return to the office and answer truthfully NO when the boss asks if you had a beer at lunch. Because all you had was a half-beer. (Now who's the dumbass?)

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